I wake up paranoid, at a quarter to 2-
Completely void of the pacification a night of sleep gives you-
Quickly size up my room just in case there's a maniac strapped with a Ginsu-
Flip my K-Swiss over, shake it, there could be a scorpion in my shoe-
Tip-toe to the bathroom-
Cause I don't wanna wake up the skeleton under my bed, the monster in my closet, or the demon in my mind-
Take a fast ass shower with the curtain open-
I ain't no fool-
I've seen psycho nine times-
Never wash my face, so I don't have to close my eyes-
I think it's wise just in case Freddy, Jason, or Michael try top catch me by surprise-
Don't wash my hair, so my vision's not impaired-
And I'm alert, ready, and aware of the people under the stairs-
Don't care much to clean, anything below my knees-
For fear I may topple over, crack my head on the tub, and bleed-
Cause all the time, I got the feeling that, "Somebody's watching me"-
My computer's still in the box, cause I think there's a ghost in the machine-
My TV is never plugged in, you saw how that little girl got sucked into the screen-
I wash my hands every five minutes, in case I touched something subconsciously-
I buy the paper every day, but never read-
Cause Uncle Sam controls everything and his only goal is to brainwash and mislead-
So I believe nothing I hear, and only half of what I see-
Leave an hour-and-half early, no matter where I need to be-
Irrespective of my destination's proximity-
Drive fast as hell, not one mile under 80-
Cause I ain't about to slow down or stop and get car-jacked because the guy in front of me can't switch his Mitsubishi from gear 2 to gear 3-
So even when the light's red, I convince myself that it's green-
I'm scared to death of VD's and unwanted pregnancies-
So I always triple-bag my piece-
Have the girl pop enough pills till she covers next week-
And make sure I come undone-
And skeet unseen-
I pack up my shit and leave town when it's close to Halloween-
Cause I don't wanna deal with trick-or-treats, toilet paper in trees, or rotten eggs crusting up my window screen-
I don't wanna be near these crazy-ass kids wreaking havoc on my street-
Or end up like Bushwick Bill with my hands all bloody from punching on the concrete-
I just wanna hide out in my bunker I built in case there's a nuclear war-
Lock all 30 deadbolts that I got on my door-
Nail it shut with 6 inch thick wooden boards-
Tilt a chair under the door-knob in case that shit don't hold-
Sit in the corner with a blanket over my head because there ain't nowhere else I can go-
Ensure myself that I can endure another day because I've done it before-
That my roof will hold if it hails, sleets, snows, or pours-
That the temperature will remain constant at the earth's core-
And not cause plates to shift and tremors to rip apart my bunker floor-
And I swore I wouldn't think about that whore I scored four days before-
The one with 1 tooth, dirty cooch, and mouth covered with open cold sores-
But when the sun goes down, sweat seeps out my pores, and my heart starts racing, that shit's impossible to ignore-
So I put my head on the pillow, and try to get some sleep-
Real hesitantly-
Beg the lord for mental peace-
Just in case today repeats-
And traps my paranoid ass in my dreams~